How did I get here?

As I think back to all the things I used to be able to do or places I could go before all of this started, it just seems so surreal that this is who I am today.  Things that not so long ago were just normal and done without even a second thought have now become a struggle or even impossible.  The work meeting that I have to attend tomorrow just 30 miles from home that has put me into a total panic.  You would think I was being asked to climb a mountain or jump from a plane.  But nonetheless, that is what I have become.  Don't get me wrong, I have been able to adjust my lifestyle and rewire myself so that I am still pefectly content and happy with the life that I have.  And according to my husband and probably many others, that is probably part of the problem.  I can still work and have friends and family and attend normal events like birthday parties and barbeques with only minimal anxiety!  So what is the problem!??!  I guess it doesn't really work that way.  I know that when I was still a normal functioning member of society this too would not have been enough either.  But in my panic anxiety ridden brain, it just doesn't make sense to me that there should be any problem with this lifestyle.  I have a gorgeous, wonderful 9 month old daughter that makes my life whole and that I could enjoy if I never left the house, but obviously that would not be fair to her.  But I have gained the strength to actually be able to go to the beach with her on several occassions.  We go to the park all the time and she has Gymboree and Aunts and Uncles and Grandma and Grandpa's houses and plenty of fun events that she gets to attend and that I can attend as well, so sometimes I really do ask the question, what is the big deal?  I know that this is just me trying to avoid putting myself through such difficult and uncomfortable situations, but I really do feel like it is just easier to enjoy my life and if that means enjoying local parks and beaches and finding plenty of enjoyment and entertainment within the "safe zone", then isn't that better than being axious and scared all of the time?  I like to talk to my husband about "one day" being normal again, but to be 100% honest, most of the time I just really don't see that happening.  Is there any way to just be a happy agoraphob!?!?